One of many gifts

I'm learning there's a fine line with wrong doing. If you say someone has done something wrong, people are quick to jump and point the finger at you and say that you're self righteous for saying it was wrong. That you are judging. Where's the happy medium though? Wrong is wrong, right? Regardless of what you think. Why can't you say something is wrong, and still love the person? Why is it wrong to be disappointed with their decisions? Why does that make you unkind or a bad person?

I've been feeling alot of this lately.

My bishop asked me yesterday what it meant to forgive. Speaking english fluently, i know what the word means, but i stumbled as i tried to define it for him. His definition made me think. He said, "To forgive does not mean that you condone or agree with a person's actions. To forgive is to hope. A hope that, even though this person has wronged you, that they will never do that to another person again."

But how do you hope when they aren't even sorry for what they've done? When they don't even think they've done anything wrong? How do you get rid of the hurt, and even anger, that's resulted from the wrong doing?

Elder James E Faust says, in an Ensign talk given in 2007,

"Forgiveness is not always instantaneous. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to “get even” with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Forgiveness comes more readily when we have faith in God and trust in His word. Such faith “enables people to withstand the worst of humanity. It also enables people to look beyond themselves. More importantly, it enables them to forgive."

So we need to have faith and hope. That is our part. Then the Savior takes care of the rest.

Elder Faust goes on to say,

“Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences. When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. "

Let me interject really quickly. How profound. Mercy cannot rob justice. So, the wrong doing does not go unnoticed by God, even though we are asked to forgive and forget. Every action has a consequence. So let justice take it's course, because, it will. Do your part, and God will take care of the rest. Brilliant.

"It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,” even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort."

What a wonderful promise. That the Lord will heal our hearts, no matter how broken they are. I know in my life, there have been many times where i didn't think it was even possible for my heart to function the same again. But each time, i've handed it over to the Savior and am always surprised at what he can do with it. All he asks when someone has wronged us, is to be WILLING to cast out our negative feelings or anger, spite or revenge. He doesn't ask us to get rid of them. How do you do that? He just asks us to come to him, and be willing. To want to get rid of them, and he promises us peace and comfort.

How wonderful.

I know the atonement is real. I've felt how the Savior has healed my broken heart many times. I know it's real. I'm thankful that it's there, to heal us, from everything, not only our sins, but everything; Life's tragedies and the sins that others commit that hurt us.

"Oh it is wonderful that he would care for me, enough to die for me. Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me."