Why are there so many, songs about rainbows?

What's on the other side?

We went to Hawaii on our honeymoon (pictures to follow). I've never been to Hawaii and always wanted to. So you can imagine how excited i was when Jairo's parents offered it to us as an option for our honeymoon.

Actually, the year before i had been pressuring Jessica to spend our birthdays together because our birthdays are only 3 days apart and i was turning the dreaded 30. i just didnt want to be at home for it. I was kinda sad to be turning 30 and unmarried and i dunno.. i guess i get a little sad when people don't remember my birthday and i'd rather just be gone and not worry about it. But i wanted to do something big to celebrate it. So i looked up tickets to Hawaii and found them for only $410. I was so excited! and jessica seemed to be too. I had always always always wanted to go to hawaii but had never had an opportunity. But for some reason, i felt like we shouldn't go (which sucked! why do we have feelings like "dont go to hawaii!?" and why do i listen!?) I wasn't sure why, but we changed our plans and ended up going to Kansas city, Nauvoo and Chicago instead.

As depicted above, on the hawaiian license plate, there is a rainbow. Rainbows have always been really special to me because they are a symbol of God keeping his promise to Noah. And... i venture to think that maybe it's just a symbol that God keeps his promises in general. It may sound silly but i'm really happy when i see one because it reminds me, "Hey. God keeps his promises. Keep your chin up. Things will work out." And i can always go one more step and make it one more day.

A while ago i heard a comedian named Demetri Martin talk about rainbows. I thought it was pretty funny. Here's his little excerpt from imdb.com:

"I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays."

I feel similarly. Rainbows are SO COOL! but when you see one now, you can't help but think, wait. does that mean gay? that flag must symbolize that this house is gay or supports gays or... something. can't it just mean, RAINBOWS ARE AWESOME!? GAH.

Haha. Anyway, like i stated earlier, rainbows are special to me. I feel like... They come at the right time in my life. Right when i'm despairing and worrying that maybe God isn't going to keep his promises to me, i'll walk outside and BAM! there one is, and my heart feels a little better. Balm to the wound.

I had been promised that i would be married someday.. and i just felt like it was never happening. and that was really discouraging to me. And i was sad and fearful that maybe God wouldnt keep MY promise or that maybe my promise wasn't going to be realized in this lifetime. it was a constant heavy weight in the bottom of my heart. and every time i saw a rainbow, it kept me going and hoping that god WOULD remember me.

When i got engaged, i remembered God's promise and i thought, "i bet it'll rain a little on the day i get married, so God can shine a rainbow and show me that he did keep his promise". I thought this many times and i knew for sure that a rainbow would be present sometime during the festivities.

But, it wasn't. It never came.

I'll admit, i was a little disappointed. I mean, i was glad it was a nice beautiful day. Everyone wants a warm, beautiful day for their wedding day. And i do feel blessed that mine was so nice. Not too hot. Not too cold. Blossoms everywhere. It was so happy. But no rainbow?

It crossed my mind over and over, but i'd never told anyone too much about my feelings about rainbows (well, with the exception of jeff, but i never told him that i thought one would come on my wedding day) mostly because, i dont know, i feel like i'm kinda silly or superstitious about it. Like, i'm believing some silly kid thing. I actually almost didnt write this post for fear of people judging or thinking i was being a dumb mormon girl. but i decided that 1) it's my blog and i'll write what i want and 2) it was a great experience that showed me that God DOES care and he does SHOW US that he cares. But you have to make sure you're looking.

Anyway, we got to Hawaii at 10 o'clock at night (2 am in utah...) so it was completely dark. I was a little disappointed to finally be there and not be able to see the amazing beaches. We got a rental car and drove to our hotel which was just a couple blocks from waikiki beach. I dont remember if it  was that night or the next day, but as we were driving, i just zoned out, looking around and thinking about how beautiful it was. for some reason, i looked forward at the car ahead of me and noticed the license plate. it had a rainbow on it.

?

all hawaiian license plates have rainbows.

i've always known that but never thought about it. when we talked about hawaii, i didnt think about their license plates and what they look like. in fact, i never think about what the license plates look like when i plan on going to a particular state (which, i think is normal). anyway, i just remember looking at it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

my rainbow.
my personal sign that god was listening. god does know me. and god did keep MY promise.

Now, could he have shone a little rainbow during my wedding sometime and taken care of it then instead and we couldve gone somewhere else for our honeymoon? yes.

could he have never shown one at all and i would've been just fine? yes.

We actually planned to go to disneyland or disneyworld originally, because he proposed at disneyland and it wouldve been special to go back (plus, i love it like a fat kid loves cake). But when hawaii became and option i just couldn't say no. i'd always wanted to go and what a fun adventure! and when i got there i realized they use the rainbow as a symbol frequently. so maybe that's why we went there. because the rainbow is everywhere there (it's even their mascot for their football team!) and god knew that. it just made it that much more obvious and special to me. that god would weave something so intricate for me to notice and feel special. Little 'ole me. A little nobody girl from a small town in Utah.

I know God keeps his promises. i know that because he kept mine. And he showed it to me. I'm glad i was looking.