Some new perspective

I thought i knew everything..

and then i got married. :) I'm not sure how to explain it but, the concept of time... dramatically shifted for me after i got married. Just the idea of it. I don't know what happened but i just couldn't wrap my head around anything anymore. Thinking about how long a couple had been married (10 YEARS already?! that's... SO far away for me... WOW. I can't even imagine...) Or, when it's not you you're thinking about,  and you're not directly involved with the other person (family, BFF's, etc), time seems to just FLY (holy cow! they have THREE kids now!? and the oldest is EIGHT!? WHEN did this happen?? WHERE was I??? And why did they not consult ME each time they got pregnant/delivered/had a birthday/got their ears pierced/etc etc etc!?). It's just SO WEIRD to me to think about the time it takes to get pregnant,  develop the baby, deliver, turn 1, 2, 3, etc (and then, wash. rinse. repeat.). That all takes SO. MUCH. TIME. How will i ever even get there? I'm SO far behind already...

Not to MENTION all the ups and downs of marriage, and school and jobs and moving and MONEY (is it time for my break yet?). It's not like none of this occurred to me BEFORE i was married, it's just that now... my life got put into slow mo/hyper speed at the same time (is that even POSSIBLE? Cause if it is, i've fallen into that vortex and can't get up)
and i don't know how to rewind back to ignorance. I think i finally understand alice falling down the rabbit hole...

ANYWAY that wasn't even the topic of my post today. It's just been on my mind the last year and now that it's not so.... the main focus of my life (i'm takin things ONE day at a TIME people! focusing on the HERE and NOW. that future business can stay right where it is, in the future. No deloreans needed around these parts) i can think about other things. like... the oh so foreign land of... the HOSPITAL.

Recently, I started an internship of sorts at a hospital and i'm feeling.... a little like Aladdin (cue "a whole new world" song). The hospital is seriously, a whole new world. I was never really into shows like "Scrubs" or "Greys Anatomy" so i missed the boat on what to expect when you're expecting (a new career, that is).
It is just SO BIZARRE to be on the OTHER SIDE of all the tests people go through when they're sick or... dying :(   My heart might not be cut out for this profession because i can't help but... be overly empathetic with each patient. To the point of i'm holding back TEARS on a daily basis.

One old man was diagnosed with "sepsis" during a routine dialysis treatment and when his wife came to see how he was i almost lost it when he reached out for her with his eyes closed and asked "where are you my love?". We can all only hope to achieve a love so dear in our lifetime. It was the stuff you see in movies.)

Anyway, i couldn't stop thinking about it all night. Like i stated previously, i'm new to this hospital BUSINESS and had no idea what "sepsis" was, so i had to go home and google it. My heart sank as i realized that he probably wasn't going to be there when i got back to work on tuesday. This job really pulls at your heart strings. (if you don't know what sepsis is either, click here.)

I hope to "callus" up a bit, so i can actually function at work but at the same time, i'm glad i still have the care factor (it seems that some of the long time hospital staff have lost it throughout the years). Being on the other (the patient getting exams) i always appreciated an empathetic doctor/nurse, so my goal is to be that person for someone else.

And thus the point of my post (well, kind of). I'm just super sensitive to hospital stuff now and this mormon message  made me tear up and i wanted to share it. I love mormon messages because they're like... our daily multivitamin. They're compact (just add water), giving us all we need for the day. So i like to share them when i can.

This girl is truly inspiring.