Letter of the law

If you know me very well, i lean more toward "spirit of the law" instead of it's opposite "letter of the law". I do realize there are times, places and situations for both, but i generally lead toward the former. Because of that, i tend to have a harder time with those who are VERY "letter of the law".

Example?

I live in BYU approved housing and thus have to sign a.... contract of sorts saying you will comply to a higher set of standards. Some roommates i've lived with have followed these to a T, so much, that i felt it was ridiculous. a perfect example is, we aren't supposed to have boys in our bedrooms. you might ask yourself, what is the purpose of this rule/standard? to help keep us morally clean. to keep us from temptation of breaking the law of chastity. it's a pretty good rule to follow, for your own safety. so you can imagine my surprise when my roommate needed help with her computer but it was in her room and so her brother couldnt come back and fix it because, well, he's a boy and that's against the rules. my mind was always blown with this type of person. gold star to you for being FULLY obedient but that is not the point of the rule. are you going to be tempted to break the law of chastity with your brother? i guess it's not COMPLETELY out of the realm of possibilities but the likelihood is slim (and hopefully to NONE). so i explained to her that it would be TOTALLY FINE and in my opinion NOT breaking the honor code, to have her brother come in her room to fix her computer. but, i'm no general authority. what would i know?

another example is i had a roommate that would ride to school with her boyfriend every morning. sometimes he would come and she wouldnt be ready. so he would patiently wait on the living room couch until she was and they'd go together. my other roommate (a stout letter of the law believer) came home from running one morning to find the roommate's boyfriend waiting on the couch.

she KICKED him OUT and made him wait OUTSIDE the front door (and i think it was winter) because the rule is "no members of the opposite sex in your apartment after 12am until 9am". 9AM!? i had heard of a morning rule but i always thought it was 6 or 7. who MADE this rule? and again, does it REALLY hurt anyone to have him sitting inside, out of the cold, on the couch, ALONE while he waits ten minutes for his girlfriend? in my opinion, no. i actually think it's the more humane/kind thing to do, to invite him in. but we couldnt have differed more in this thought.

i just REALLY differ from these people... and i have a hard time when things like this come up, because they're being "super righteous" to follow the "rule" exactly and i'm justifying. and who knows... maybe in all reality i am. but i like to think i'm pretty logical and i'm NOT justifying anything. but... whatever. i guess god can judge me on that in the end.

ANYWAY,

today, at church, was a similar situation. i make it a habit not to talk bad about the leaders in the church. the lord has asked us not to and i've been a leader so i know how hard it is and how... people seem to judge a bit harsher because "you're a leader and you're supposed to be PERFECT".  because of those two reasons, i try to give leaders (well, and all people) the benefit of the doubt.

but there is this one girl in my ward... and i just can't HANDLE HER ANYMORE! i can't BELIEVE some of the things she does!! when these situations happen, all i can think is, why oh WHY are you saying this? Ahhhhhhhhh.....

example?

i'll try to be as vague as possible but it may prove difficult.

scene: relief society (meeting with girls only)
the girls are all seated, talking quietly. the presidency is getting their lesson/announcements ready. prelude music playing. our room is set up with sort of a... mini type stage up front with a podium at one end, piano at the other, relief society presidency sits in the middle.

here's the conversation between RSP (relief society presdient) and BB (brother baldwin, the 2nd counselor in the bishopric)

(i was going to not say their callings, but i think they're pertinent..)

RSP: um, the bishopric is here? (she says loudly, so everyone can hear)
BB: yes. hi. we just wanted to come visit.
RSP: um... but why are you here?
BB: oh well, we just like to come visit the relief society sometimes.
RSP: but why EXACTLY are you here? what's the reason?

(the awkwardness and tension is starting to build up in the room. slowly, conversations are interrupted and quiet out to hear what's going on, because, brother baldwin is in the back of the room, and she is in front, on the stage)

BB: **taken back** well, we just love you and want to be with you. sometimes the bishopric likes to visit. ??
RSP: well, the stake relief society president told us that no one else can visit. that the bishopric can come in sometimes, but that's it. No one else.

(all of us in the congregation are confused and turn around to see what she's talking about. *face palm* there's another guy with brother baldwin. a member of our ward. HOW EMBARRASSING for him... why... is she doing this?)

BB: Oh well, i just asked caleb to come with me so i wouldnt have to be alone. *smirk*uneasy- trying-to-make-light-of-it laugh*

congregation: *chuckle*

RSP: well, the stake relief society president said specifically that no other members of the ward are allowed in our meetings. so you can stay but no one else can be here.

(everyone now feels really awkward. like, are you serious?! you're really going to announce in front of EVERYONE and make this ONE BOY in our ward leave? in front of EVERYONE!?)

BB: it's ok. he's just here with me.
RSP: he can't be. the stake relief society president just told us that in a meeting. only the bishopric can come.
BB: well, he's a member of the bishopric technically cause he's one of our clerks, so it's fine. he can be here.
RSP: well, you can take that up with her. as long as she approves it, that's fine with me.

(are you SERIOUS!? i can't even believe this is happening!!)

now, if you really feel that strongly to follow the stake relief society president, that is SUPER! but can you have the TACT, decency, KINDNESS to walk over there, squat down and talk to them PRIVATELY? or hey! here's an idea! TALK TO THEM AFTER THE MEETING! so it doesnt keep happening!

and if a member of the bishopric says it's ok, DON'T ARGUE!

and is it REALLY that big a deal that one guy is sitting in? like, REALLY!? does it hurt you or anyone else?

GAH!!

this was the LAST STRAW!! there are SO MANY other instances and i've tried my hardest just to let them go or roll my eyes to myself or comment in my head how ridiculous i think she is.. and yet still be fully supportive to her and her calling. i've been very polite and cordial and followed anything she's asked us to do. and not that i'm going to disobey her now, but i just couldnt believe this happened today, AT CHURCH.

and she wonders why our attendance numbers have dropped...

it's a STAB IN THE DARK but MAYBE people dont like to be embarrassed at church. ? *blink*

and this concludes my unrighteous rant.